Mental Health

Common responses to abuse

Women who have experienced prolonged abuse often describe the following reactions. If you recognise them, you are not alone:

• Feeling constantly on alert or startled by every sound
• Insomnia, nightmares, sleeping excessively or ongoing exhaustion
• Emotional numbness or feeling unable to feel anything
• Doubting your memory and judgement after years of being told you are wrong
• Feeling guilt or shame even when you have done nothing wrong
• Unexplained physical discomfort, such as headaches, stomach pain or chest pain
• Difficulty making decisions, even about small things

When anxiety rises: the 5–4–3–2–1 exercise

This exercise can help bring your attention back to the present. You can do it quietly wherever you are.

1. Five things you can see. Name them in your mind, simply and specifically.
2. Four things you can feel. The ground under your feet, the fabric of your clothes or the coolness of a wall.
3. Three sounds you can hear. They can be close by or far away.
4. Two things you can smell. If you cannot smell anything, remember two scents you like.
5. One slow breath. Breathe in for four counts and out for six, if comfortable. Repeat twice.

Things that may help

• A daily routine. Try regular sleep and mealtimes, even when motivation is low. A routine can help you feel steadier.
• Movement. Gentle movement, such as a short walk when it feels safe and manageable, may support your wellbeing.
• Writing. Writing about your experience may help with repetitive thoughts. Only keep what you write if doing so is safe for you.
• Regular human connection. A phone call or a walk with someone you trust can help you feel less isolated.
• Kindness towards yourself. Speak to yourself as you would to a friend in the same situation.

When to seek professional help

• If you are thinking about harming yourself
• If you have been unable to manage everyday activities for more than two weeks
• If you rely on alcohol, sleeping pills or other substances to get through the night
• If memories keep replaying and feel beyond your control